Notes From Gordon 250109: Print, Baby, Print!

ATTENTION SPAN NOTICE
Reading time: 463 words @ 238 wpm = 1 minutes, 47 seconds

TONE: whimsical, ironic, mildly snarky

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Print, Baby, Print!

My good friend, Magneto, sparked my enthusiasm when he wrote to say: “… always enjoy the analysis, thought you might mention what to do with the National Debt in your dream scenario.”

Let us return to our alternative universe—where men are men, boys will be boys, and sheep are nervous.

President-For-Life, Trumpus Maximus takes manly action and sends in the Marines to arrest the entire U.S. Congress.

Some are sent to Guantanamo and some are released on their word to relocate deep in a national forest and never be seen again.

With all possible political resistance removed, the Marines are sent to the Office of Management And Budget where the director is duct taped into a chair and ordered to push a button that will delete every penny of the national debt.

President Maximus goes on TV and tells foreign bond holders, “Sorry, all bonds are canceled. You’re out of luck. You should have bought gold. If you don’t like it, we’ll send you an aircraft carrier.”

But would a manly man like this stop there?

Not on your life.

He’d calculate the life expectancy of federal benefits recipients and add up all the money they’d be due for the rest of their lives for government pensions, military pensions, Social Security, Medicare… bring it on.

He’d add up all of the outstanding mortgages, credit card balances, car loans and student loans, too.

Maybe throw in some reparations just for good measure.

He’d send the Marines to the Federal Reserve building, sit some poor slob of a trembling IT guy down in a chair in a pair of Depends, and make him push the buttons needed to materialize the required trillions in fresh, new cash, all out of thin air.

Every American would now be invited to install the new FedFreedom app on their phones and instantly receive their calculated fair share of the largesse.

Everyone is now debt free and the president’s approval rating goes to 100%, a first in any alternative universe.

With no federal debt left to service, there’s no need for an income tax—which means no need for anyone to work 40 hours a week.

It’s a veritable orgy of money and free time for all.

The nation goes on an insane spending spree as formerly cash-starved Americans buy up extra homes and cars and see their wildest dreams come true.

Prices are bid to the moon and the greatest bubble in human history is created.

And when it eventually pops… and it will… millions of deluded Americans will be broke or deeply in debt.

Kinda’ like today.

GP