Notes From Gordon 250202: Dad's Diabolical Home School Evaluation Exam

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Dad's Diabolical Home School Evaluation Exam

I have often been asked over the years what it was like to homeschool my three children. Was it difficult? How did you know what to do? How did you manage it financially?

My answer is that it was an amazing experience—that I would do it again in a heartbeat, even if it meant having to live in a van down by the river.

I would have traded nothing in the world for the opportunity to be with my kids every day of their developing lives, to be one of the primary influences in shaping their lives (and futures), and in basically growing up together (yes, they’re still raising me… and good luck with that!).

Periodically I would do what any good mentor would do, which was to assess what they had learned thus far.

Following is an example of the exam that I administered to each of my three children upon turning 12 years old—the equivalent of 6th grade by government public school reckoning.

A pre-1964 90% silver dime was awarded for each correct answer. A late 1800s Morgan Silver Dollar was awarded for a grade of 90% or higher. A guaranteed award of ice cream always followed, along with laughs and great conversation.

DAD’S EVIL HOME SCHOOL EVALUATION EXAM

1. How many days are there in the month that comes just before June?

2. There are approximately 6,000 words in the U.S. Constitution. If the average American can read 300 words per minute and watches 3 hours of cable television each evening, how many times could they turn off the TV and read the Constitution instead?

3. Jefferson can inhale an ice cream cone in 3 minutes. Due to “brain freeze” he has to pause 2 minutes before eating another one. How many hours would it take him to eat 12 ice cream cones?

4. If the outdoor temperature is 72 degrees Fahrenheit, what is it in Centigrade?

5. The muzzle velocity of an AR-15 is 3,250 feet per second. How many seconds would it take for a bullet to travel the length of a football field to the closest 10th of a second?

6. How many seconds are there in 2.25 minutes?

7. What form of government do we have in the United States? (hint: say the Pledge of Allegiance to yourself)

8. A 10-gallon container is filled to the top with rice. If each member of our family eats 8 ounces of rice in a single meal, and if we eat nothing but rice 3 times each day, how many days would the rice last?

9. Which is larger, 8 times 7? Or 11 times 5?

10. If a Little House On The Prairie episode is 30 minutes long, how many hours would it take Liberty to hang off the sofa upside down and watch it inverted 4 times?

11. How many astronauts traveled to the moon and back under the Apollo space program and survived round-trip passage through the lethal Van Allen radiation belt?

12. Which state is directly north of South Dakota?

13. How many ounces are there in 9 pounds?

14. How many inches are there in 3-1/2 yards?

15. Who was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence?

16. If Victory falls asleep at 10:15 PM and wakes up at 8:45 AM the next morning, how many hours will she have slept, expressed as a decimal?

17. How many days are there in the month that follows October?

18. How many school shootings could be prevented if firearms were outlawed?

19. How many contiguous states are there in the United States?

20. What is the capitol of California?

21. In what year was the Declaration of Independence sent to King George III?

22. Jefferson's room is 12 feet long and 9 feet wide. If carpet is sold by the square yard, how many square yards would be needed to cover his entire floor?

23. The ages of the members of the Johnson family are 41, 38, 11, 9 and 5. How much older is the average Johnson family member than the youngest, expressed to a single decimal place?

24. If Victory eats one banana a day and skips every day that falls on the 31st of the month, how many bananas will she eat in one year?

25. Subtract the street address where we live now from the street address of our last home.

26. How many voluntary vaccinations is a newborn baby required by law to receive in their first year of life?

27. Which state is directly west of Virginia?

28. At what temperature does water freeze on the Centigrade scale?

29. What is the capitol of the state of New Hampshire?

30. How many of the original thirteen American colonies were required to ratify the Constitution?

31. Liberty buys a silver coin worth $12. Four years later she can sell it for $24. How much more is her coin worth expressed as a percentage?

32. The Constitution gives 100% of the law making power to the Congress. What percent does the President receive?

33. How many minutes are there in 2/3rds of an hour?

34. If Grandma takes 3 pictures a day and has to press the button on her camera 3 times just to take a single picture, how many times will she press the button in one week?

35. If the upstairs toilet clogs with each 10 flushes and if each member of our family uses the toilet 5 times per day, how many days from now will Dad have to plunge the toilet again?

36. Victory attempts to bury her brother in beach sand with a 1 pint scoop. She covers him with 32 full scoops, then transfers all of the sand into quart jars. How many quart jars can she fill?

37. What is 5 multiplied by the smallest even number that is greater than zero?

38. What is the 5th number in the Fibonacci series (starting with 0)?

39. What is the District of Columbia?

40. What is 4 multiplied by 3, then divided by 2, then multiplied by 1?

41. How many months in the year have exactly 30 days?

42. Which is larger: 6 multiplied by 7, or 7 multiplied by 6?

43. How many times does the law require a U.S. citizen to apply for a Social Security Number?

44. If a pizza is cut into 8 equal slices and there are 5 people in our family, how many whole slices can each of us receive?

45. The gas tank in our van holds 16 gallons when completely full. If our van can travel 20 miles on a single gallon of gas, how many miles can we travel on 1/2 of a tank?

46. Mom likes to drive 5 miles per hour over the speed limit. If the posted speed limit is 25 miles per hour, how many minutes will it take Mom to drive 30 miles?

47. If Dad’s average nap lasts for 20 minutes and it's 3:15PM right now, what time will Dad wake up?

48. One year ago the cost of gasoline was $3.00 per gallon. Today the cost of gasoline is $4.00 per gallon. How much more will it cost to purchase 10 gallons today?

49. Before playing WarCraft for 50 hours, Jefferson had 5,000,000,000 brain cells. Now he has exactly one brain cell left. How many brain cells has Jefferson lost?

50. What is the name of the continent where the North Pole is located?

51. If the Earth’s equator is approximately 24,000 miles long, and if our planet rotates once on its axis every day, how many miles per hour would you be traveling, relative to outer space, if you were standing anywhere along the equator?

52. How many orifices are there in the human body? (giggles allowed)

53. Dad says that Uncle Fred doesn’t know his gluteus from his ulna. What does Dad mean?

54. What authority does the Constitution give to the President to declare war?

55. What is the term for the peacetime equivalent of treason?

56. Who holds more power in the courtroom, the judge or the jury?

57. How many representatives are there in the U.S. House of Representatives?

58. What is the primary distinction between direct and indirect taxes in the Constitution?

59. If the dollar loses 6% per year in purchasing power, what will $100 be worth 5 years from now?

60. If General Grant is buried in Grant’s tomb, what color was George Washington’s white horse?

END OF EXAM

The reader who is unfamiliar with home schooling might stop to consider that all kinds of useful things can be taught at home, far from state supervision and control.

The result of guided, autodidactic home learning—when done correctly and with enthusiasm—results in young people who:

• Know how to think for themselves.
• Can find the answer to pretty much anything.
• Question authority (and respect it when respect is due).
• Understand the difference between leading and following.
• Are prepared to head out into the world and make a difference.

If you are debating whether to home school your own children and unsure as how to make it all work, get in touch. The first ZOOM is always on the house.

I might even be able to help with a little tutoring. Not you, the kids… ;- )

Gordon