Notes From Gordon 250210: On Sale - Everything Must Go!

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Reading time: 457 words @ 238 wpm = 1 minute, 55 seconds.

TONE: Totally normal. Nothing at all unusual.

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On Sale - Everything Must Go!

The Reality Ranger woke me up at 3:00 AM last night to rant on and on about how our entire civilization is based upon sales.

“It’s ridiculous!,” he shouted. “Politicians try to sell us freedom at crushing tax rates, then sell us on invading other countries to enhance their freedoms.”

“Physicists sell us on the Big Bang, when everything is supposed to have come from nothing. And people believe this since it dovetails with the concept of divinity, although virtually no one alive can reconcile the two. It’s enough to drive me crazy!”

To calm him down and get a little sleep, I promised that I would cover a few of the more popular sales outlets in today’s ‘Notes.’

Here you go…

Colleges sell diplomas
Spend four years at an accredited college and they hand you a certificate that conveys the prestige and career lubrication potential of the awarding institution. A diploma from Harvard University will get you much further than a diploma from Podunk University, even though identical educations were provided by both institutions.

Religions sell salvation
There would be no major, institutionalized religions were it not for the fear of death. Actually, that’s not quite correct. It’s what lies beyond death where the real fear lies. Obey a patriarchal (and apparently easily aggravated) sky being and you get to go to Heaven. Fail to obey and you will spend eternity in Hell, with no possibility of reprieve. You should have paid attention in Sunday School.

Governments sell security
Government will lie to you, cheat you, and steal from you six ways to Sunday, while selling you on the idea that they will protect you from bad things that could happen to you, even when most of those bad things would come from the government itself.

Doctors sell drugs
Doctors dispense pills that can make living more tolerable until the underlying cause of an illness (which remains unaddressed) results in the demise of the pill taker. A doctor may receive financial bonuses based on the percentage of patients who were subjected to various procedures, such as having their lungs destroyed under pressure by a ventilator when all they needed was a little more oxygen.

I was finally able to banish Mr. Ranger from the bedroom and get back to sleep.

My best guess? He probably needs counseling. Or maybe just a hug. Prozac?