Notes From Gordon ~ Julie's Sagging Assets

Author

Gordon Phillips
January 22, 2024

It’s 3:00AM and I am experiencing a lucid dream after placing a Silent Night phototherapy patch from Lifewave in the middle of my forehead and stimulating my third eye.

In my dream I am working the receptionist desk at a financial firm and a client named Julie has just walked in.

J: Is this Dewey, Pickem & Howe?

G: Yes, this is Dewey, Pickem & Howe. How may I help you?

J: I’m afraid of my assets sagging.

G: I think they look pretty good from here.

J: Put your eyes back in your head, Phillips. I want to see my financial planner.

G: Do you have an appointment?

J: No. He will not return my calls or e-mails.

G: How long have you been trying to reach him?

J: Since the stock market crashed in ‘08.

G: I am sorry, but none of our financial planners are available. They have all entered the Witness Protection Program. Perhaps I can help.

J: My Tarot cards say the stock market is going to crash again someday. And I am still paying my financial planner fees to grow my money.

G: The fees you pay your financial planner have nothing to do with growing your money. Those are the fees you pay for his advice to grow your money, whether you grow your money or not.

J: Why is that?

G: Because stocks go up. Then they go back down, sometimes way down. Then they go back up, but not far enough. So financial planners lose their own money too.

J: They do?

G: Yes. They always put their own money into the same investments that they recommend to their clients. Otherwise, they would have no credibility when stocks go down.

J: That is amazing. Don't financial planners study difficult courses and take special tests in order to become licensed?

G: Yes, and those courses are very difficult.

J: What do they learn?

G: They learn the definition of a stock, how to put your money into a mutual fund, the different ways to bill your clients, stuff like that.

J: Do they learn how to actually make money in the stock market?

G: Yes, but only when it is going up.

J: But what about when it is going down?

G: When the stock market is going down everyone loses money. You can only hope that you do not lose as much money as you made when it was going up.

J: This is why financial planners have to be licensed?

G: Yes, otherwise you can go to jail for giving your clients advice without a license.

J: Even when the advice you give doesn't make your clients any money?

G: Making money has nothing to do with having a license. It has to do with giving advice without a license.

J: Even when the advice you give doesn't make your clients any money?

G: We are stuck in a recursive loop.

J: So what advice do financial planners give their clients when stocks are going down?

G: They tell their clients to be patient because stocks always go back up again some day.

J: But that could be decades later!

G: Yes, but it is still a true statement.

J: Thank you. Now I know what I need to do.

G: What is that?

J: I need to get a license.

G: Do you mean a license to become a financial planner?

J: No, a license to carry concealed.

G: I understand. One can’t be too careful these days. Do you still have your retirement funds in stocks?

J: Yes, in a 401k and bank savings accounts. Without enough money saved for retirement I may have to live in a van down by the river.

G: I am sorry to hear that. Do you do your own investing?

J: No, I'm afraid to. I have an advanced degree in economics.

G: I understand completely. Are you getting profits from any of your current investments?

J: Well, my 401k is going sky high but I don’t know whether to hang on to it and hope for the best—or sell it now, take the penalty and use what’s left to buy something sensible, like a luxury condo in Vail.

G: I see. Perhaps you need some help with making decisions generally?

J: I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, thank you very much.

G: Of course you are. Do you need some help with your financial decisions?

J: Yes, desperately. But I am terrified at the idea of taking responsibility for my own money. I get most of my investing cues from Jim Cramer and sometimes from Oprah.

G: Maybe you need to become your own financial advisor. It is never too late to start, and I’d be happy to teach you.

J: Can I get started with you?

G: We would need to have dinner first.

J: In your dreams. I was referring to learning how to invest my money.

G: Sure, no problem. I’m not licensed to give you financial advice, but I can educate you in the principles of investing.

J: Thanks, that sounds great. I need to get a firm grip on my assets.

G: Sure thing. Let me roll up my sleeves and see if I can help.

### POP ###

Wow, that was close to a nightmare.

The very idea of being licensed gives me the hives.

I would lose my independence as an educator, mentor and consultant.

Become a puppet of Wall Street and have to dance to their tune.

I fall asleep again and dream of my days as a professional musician.

It’s 1981 and I’m onstage at a fancy dinner club in Clearwater, Florida.

Somehow I’m a musician who teaches financial risk management?

We launch into a new tune.

"Let’s Hang On To What We’ve Got" by The Four Seasons.

Offer of Assistance

Now that I’m pretty much retired, I still enjoy helping families with their financial risk management strategies.

I can’t provide you with financial advice, but I can teach you some of the little-known strategies that the wealthy use to secure their assets.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself.

  • When the stock market crashes again (and it will), what should I do?

  • When I or my spouse become eligible to collect Social Security, should we collect right away or wait a few years for our monthly benefit to grow? What are the pros and cons?

  • If I got into a car accident and harmed another driver, a lawsuit could force me into bankruptcy and take my home away from me. Is there anything I can do to protect myself against this happening?

  • If one of the breadwinners in our home got sick or died and their income stopped, and if the other breadwinner couldn’t afford the monthly mortgage payments, we’d lose our home to foreclosure. Is there anything we can do to prevent this?

  • Is there anything I can do to stop escalating inflation from ravaging my nest egg? I’ll have significant savings available when I hit retirement age, but I’m worried that it won’t last for the rest of my life. What can I do to assure positive cash flow into my old age so I don’t end up “eating” my savings?

  • I just read “The Great Taking” by David Webb and it scared the pants off of me. What can I do to preserve what I’ve got when they come for everything?

 I’m sure you must have some questions or concerns.

So here’s my question for you…

If I could help you defend, preserve and protect 10’s of thousands of dollars or more in assets and other life savings, what would that be worth to you?

The cost for my time these days is peanuts compared to what it used to be.

So feel free to get in touch.

The first ZOOM is always on the house.

Gordon